Catherine

Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies.

– Shawshank Redemption

The week after the season ends is never fun. Even if the season went well (which ours did not), it’s hard to move on from the daily grind of a basketball season. 

When the season ends, I feel lost. No practice to plan for. No game to get ready for. No opponent to scout. The increased focus on recruiting makes up for some of that, but it’s not the same.

I was particularly down last week. Threw a nice pity party for myself. I invited my friends confusion and resentment, to join me.

At one point in the week, another friend, guilt, popped in. Shouldn’t I be grateful, he asked? Don’t you have a good life? A really good life? Those were good questions. Guilt isn’t always a bad friend.

2010 was a true low point. I was experiencing my first losing season. But that was nothing compared to what was going on in my personal life. 

My Dad, who was my best friend, would pass away on January 25. That loss was unlike anything I have ever experienced. I still don’t think I’ve fully processed it.

A long and difficult relationship ended, as well. 2010 was full of loss.  My present was painful and the future did not look much brighter. 

I remember talking to my Mom around that time. She told me that she hoped I would find someone fun, confident and caring. It reminded me of being a kid and imagining being married one day. What our relationship might be. My vision was of a very high order.

I gritted my teeth through the rest of 2010. I have to admit that I was not very optimistic. I hung onto a shred of hope that 2011 would bring something better. 

I had no idea.

Catherine appeared in my life. She was beautiful. She had a confident air about her. She loved basketball (what the *&%$!). As I got to know her, she seemed too good to be true. There was no way a person like this could exist…let alone have interest in me.

I was wrong. Thank God I was wrong.

During my downtimes, like last week, she is supportive and encouraging. She pulls me up and gets me closer to my potential as a human.

Catherine is everything I hope our daughter, Dempsey, grows up to be. Strong. Selfless. Independent. She enjoys life. She attacks it with enthusiasm everyday. She’s reliable, consistent. People want to be around her. As Kenny Chesney said, she’s got it all.

I was once convinced deep down, that what I have with Catherine was impossible. That it didn’t exist and if it did, well then I did not deserve it. I’m still not convinced I deserve it. But I try to.

We need people in our lives who pull us up. They give us hope. Hope that maybe we can be better.

Hope is a good thing.